I Should Have Seen the Signs - My Concrete Random Child

When I first read The Way They Learn by Cynthia Ulrich Tobias, I was a newbie homeschooling mom of a 9 yo boy, 7 yo girl, and a 3 yo tyrant girl.  Almost immediately, I was able to determine the learning style of the older two.  Flower Child, at three, although obviously willful and curious was still a bit of a mystery to me.  So, I spent my time reading up and memorizing facts about the Concrete Sequential and Abstract Random learners, took the book back to the library, and promptly forgot everything about the other types.  Until Flower Child was school age and I started thinking I should read the book again.  Four years later I finally have.

Once Flower Child started formal book learnin’ it was immediately obvious that she tipped precariously towards the Random direction.  So much so, I wonder if there is a Sequential cell in her body!  Lessons, especially math, were not meant to do in numerical order but in whatever order she chose.  And there was never any order to the order she chose… problems were done randomly and she didn’t even do all of one type of problem at the same. time.  Given her artistic tendencies, I wrongly assumed that she was an Abstract Random like her brother.

     The Concrete Sequential mom had just taken a big drink of juice when she made a horrible face and spit it out. “Ack! This stuff tastes aweful!” she said.

     Her Concrete Random son reached for the glass.  “Let me try it,” he offered.

     She looked at him as if he had lost his mind.  “Don’t you trust me?” she asked.  “Why would you want to taste something I just told you was aweful?”

     It wasn’t that her CR son didn’t trust her — he just needed to experience facts in order to actually believe them.

     (They Way They Learn, p. 61)

BINGO!  It didn’t take long once Flower Child was walking to figure out that Natural Consequences would NOT work with her.  One of our family’s running jokes was that she is the only child who can walk up and touch the stovetop (that she’d been told NOT to touch), get third degree burns on her hand, then immediately after arriving home from the ER reach up and touch it with the OTHER hand, just to see if it’s still hot.  I am not kidding!

Now I know that Concrete Random folks are “the least likely to take your word about anything.” (p. 61)  They will also move on to something new when what they are doing becomes routine or boring.  Have I mentioned that Flower Child’s other nickname is Hummingbird - for her tendency to flit from one thing to another?  I know now that the CR is also a free spirit, a flower child.  Creative, independent with a strong dislike of rigid schedules and black and white rules.  Mrs. Tobias also points out that these kids aren’t too fond of formal education. 

Yup.  That’s my Flower Child.